


Numbness

by FJSoriano



Category: Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Fears of past and future, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Out of character Lauren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24211411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FJSoriano/pseuds/FJSoriano
Summary: Lauren Sinclair was always viewed as a strong independent woman but it hasn't always been like that.There was a time when she felt nothing but pain and emptiness every SINGLE second of the day
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

Lauren stared blankly at the sink as the water washes over the droplets of blood. She envied how easily it could flow, how easily something so gruesome can be removed so effortlessly.

She moved her gaze a few inches. Blood still continued to flow from her right wrist,a razor blade on her left hand. It wasn't uncommon now. When everyone was asleep she would get up and silently watch as the cold metal of the razor slice her pale skin in familiar movements. 

Her vision started to blurry. She could see pools of tears forming in her eyes through her reflection in the mirror. 

_Is been a while_ , she thought solemnly. Her tears started to fall but she no longer felt anything. No sadness, no regrets... it has been a while since she truly felt something other than the one in her wrist . 

She still remembers the first time she did this; so much panic and fear but she could finally feel relief. In a way it felt nice actually ... to focus on something other than Dylan, and the station and **Stop!**

Lauren blinks in shock as she sees more blood dropping in the sink, again effortlessly washed by the running water, and more cuts in her wrist through her blurred vision. 

She bit her bottom lip; she didn't understand why she was doing this. Was it a cry for help? ~~**Yes**~~. Was just an escape? ~~**Yes**~~ Did she really want to do this? **No**

Wiping the tears away, she cleans the cut and the blood, and hid the razor where the maids would never find. This was the best part of her day. Not finally stopping but removing every single evidence there is. _No one would be concerned if they don't notice anything wrong anyway._

She silently walked back to her bed and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. It's a shame that she didn't see the silhouette of a man walking towards the bathroom, taking the razor blade and putting it in his pocket and giving her a warm hug as he silently apologized for not noticing sooner and placed a book about detectives on her desk. 

It's a shame she didn't see. 


	2. The blade was gone and so did her honesty to everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren has learned to lie to her uncle, her friend and herself... albeit indirectly

"So, uncle found out huh "Lauren thought helplessly to herself. The blade was not in its usual hiding spot and her wrist was completely covered in bandages that it actually hurt to move it, unlike before. She went to her desk and opened a small box. 

It held various jewelry her mother handed down to her. From silver earrings to pearl necklaces, all too big for her wear, but she knew what she was looking for.

After rummaging through the box she pulls out a silver bracelet. It was quite simple on its own, interlocking silver chains adorned by 9 heart shaped pink diamonds. The chain itself was quite sharp but adding the edges of the diamonds, it could cause her a cut deeper than the blade. 

She silently took her school bag and decided to go to school early. She can't bear to even look at the maids who remained their usual selves, their eyes lingered a bit too long on her wrist for her to be comfortable in the house.

By the time she got out of the house Will was still a couple of streets away. On normal days, he would walk with her to class but this was not a normal day. She decided against walking towards him and made her way to school. 

She hears a pair of feet running towards her; she slightly panics fearing it would be a Phantom Scythe member but it turned out to just be Will. 

"Why are you early today?" He was slightly out of breath from running, but he caught up after a while. Like to the maids and her uncle, she couldn't bring herself to look at him. 

"Lauren?" Concern was visible in his voice and he placed a hand on her shoulder. He leaned forward, attempting to look at her eyes. Realizing that she can't ignore him forever, she slightly pushes him back and placed a hand on her throat. 

"Oh, your throat is sore?" A look of relief washed over his face and so did on hers. **He would believe this lie... for now**. 

"And how does that explain the bandage on your wrist?" Damn it. She forgot how observant he can be at times. Taking a deep breath she lifts her arm and the cuff of her blouse falls back slightly, revealing the bracelet she put on. 

Still quite confused, he reaches for the bracelet only to be cut by one of the diamonds. 

Quickly retracting his cut finger,they go back to their usual routine of laughs and jokes and childhood innocence covering their tear stained pasts and refraining them from seeing their blood soaked future. 

Years later, when they all ask why she has marks on her wrist she would pull out the bracelet and tell them how she loved it as a child even though it would always scratch her. 

  
**_They would all believe this lie._ **

**_Because they have no choice_ **

**_After all, Lauren Sinclair has always been strong and confident._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted the first chapter a while ago and decided against writing a second one because it felt horrible for me, the characters and readers but I do hope you stick with me until the end as I make the our beloved characters go through their respective fears, anxiety and depression.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William's schedule gets destroyed

William's regular day goes like this:

5:00 -get up

6:30 - walk to school with Lauren 

7:00-3:00 - school time 

3:00-3:30 -hang out with friends or occasional homework at the library 

3:30-3:35 -Get to the house and run to his room

3:35-6:00 -Endure and ignore the screaming from downstairs and from out of his door

6:00-7:00 - Prepare for Dinner and pretend to be the perfect family once again if there's visitors 

7:00-7:03 -Run once again to his room without being noticed 

7:03- onwards- Try to sleep

* * *

**7:07 AM** \- walking with Lauren through the halls, carrying the books their teacher made them carry

"Hey Will, were friends right?" Lauren has a tendency to ask random questions on even more random times of the day. Did he say something to upset her? Quickly racking his brain for their previous conversations for what she might took offence on, he found nothing. 

When he turned his head to look at her, she was looking down at the heavy books she was currently carrying. Her face held both emotion whatsoever, but her eyes was sadder and more empty than he had ever seen them. It was getting more and more frequent to see her eyes so dull. She would always just laugh it off, an empty laugh undeniably, and forcibly change the topic. 

  
"Of course we are. Why would you suddenly ask?" He didn't say anything to upset her, it's actually her that's been avoiding him these past few days. 

"Oh, nothing," she shrugged her shoulders and let out an empty chuckle. 

"Let's go get these to class. They're really heavy" Adjusting the books on her arms; she walks faster along the hall, and said greetings to their fellow students. 

**There in a nearly empty hallway, he saw it.**

**He saw a mask no one else could see but him.**

* * *

**12:23 PM** \- _Lunch time_

"Hey did you hear about what happened to Sherly?" a voice rang from beside him. Matt, one of his friends, unceremoniously plopped himself on the chair beside him but very gently placed his lunch on the table. 

"What happened to Sherly?" Lauren also took the seat beside him, although more graceful and ladylike. 

He leaned forward and kept his voice low. "Her father was killed by one of the assassins of the Phantom Scythe. He was hung on the chandelier on their own hall." Both of them froze, Sherly's house was only a few streets away from the 10th precinct police station. 

"And worse part was, the assassin left a purple hyacinth on the crime scene. A. PURPLE. HYACINTH. I mean who would do that to the symbol of the royal family?!" Matt may not look like it, but he was a big supporter of the royal family. Taking a deep breath he ran a small mental prayer for Sherly and her family. 

"What did the police say?" Lauren asked very slowly. 

"I don't know the exact details but apparently there were no trace or evidence."

"None?" Lauren asked in an incredulous voice but barely above a whisper. An assassin managed to get in the vast estate, kill the family patriarch, insult the royal family, leave no evidence behind, and successfully escape without being caught; it was serious and will be the gossip of the town. 

"I need to go see uncle for a bit" Lauren suddenly stood up headed for the door; not allowing them to talk further. 

**It was his first time seeing the mask slip away, but he thought nothing of it**

* * *

**1:39 PM - _History Class_**

"And on November 13, XX17 was the Allendalle Train Station Tragedy. Then on December 17, XX17 was..." 

_Allendale... It's a good thing Lauren isn't here. Wait, where is Lauren?_

Taking a look around the room, he sees familiar and bored faces but no sign Lauren. Her desk still held her notes from their earlier class and her bag was still sitting on her chair. 

*Knock *Knock 

"Pardon my sudden intrusion professor, but I would like to excuse William Hawkes for a few minutes if you won't mind." Chief Sinclair was standing by the doorway. Receiving a nod from the professor, he silently made his way out to the hall, ignoring the weird looks his classmates was giving him. 

"Yes Uncle? How can I help you?" It took all his willpower to say those words and not stutter. The chief was a very intimidating man and him standing his full uniform did nothing to lessen the fear he was currently experiencing. 

"Let me make this quick William. I want you to look out for my niece." 

"Lauren? Why sir? did something happen?" 

"Yes, to put it simply, I think she's suffering from depression. A few days ago, I saw her ..." 

The chief continued to explain but William heard none of it. He was still trying to connect the dots together. 

Lauren. _Depression. Allendale. ~~ **Dylan**~~_. 

He remembered the bandage in her wrist; the sadness he's been seeing these past few days in her eyes; the empty laughs; the empty look on her face during History of Ardahlis; the fear in her face when they talked about Sherly. 

Wait. 

Sherly. 

_She still wasn't back._

**_Where was she?_**

"... Now, do you understand William?" 

"Uncle, have you seen Lauren? She said she was coming to greet you this lunch but she never came back" his heartbeat was steadily getting stronger and stronger by the second. The cheifs' confused expression did nothing to help ease the cloud of thoughts now running at 100 km/h. 

"But earlier she said..." his eyes widened when he finally placed the dots together. Without even realizing it he started to run. He ran away from the chief and made his way to the exit of the building. 

* * *

**1:53 PM - Running to the Sinclair Manor**

He ran, and ran, and ran. He didn't stop for breaths. _There was no way he could stop even for a second, not when she could be crying in her room, or slitting her wrist, or worse..._

A part of his mind still refused to accept what the cruelty of life was throwing at him. His smart, strong, and independent best friend was depressed and **possibly** suicidal. He was placing all his hope on the former. Don't let it end like this. Please. 

After what felt like an eternity, he finally saw the Sinclair Manor in the distance. Not bothering to wait for a maid to answer the door, he ran up the stairs and made his way to a room he knows like he back of his hand. 

Slamming the door open, he takes an immediate survey of the room. He had hoped that he would find her on the bed crying her eyes out but life was hell-bent on destroying his dreams today. 

The door to the bathroom was slightly agape. No. Please. No. Silently but quickly making his way to the bathroom, he raised his now shaking-trembling hand and opened the door... 

On the floor was his befriend laying in a dried pool of blood. Her crimson hair faded into the blood, and her half lidded eyes show no spark of life whatsoever. Her chest raising and falling ever so slightly... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! This is the first cliffhanger I've done on months! 🎉🎉🎉This calls for a celebration, and by celebration I mean a 3 day hiatus. 😇Bye~~

**Author's Note:**

> I really feel like Lauren would go through this phase first before she started to investigate. Where she would feel helpless and numb before she took a deep breath and took on the challenge of bringing down the Phantom Scythe.


End file.
